Group Your Poop

Voting Is Hard

I’ve often said it needs to be easier to vote – like a national holiday so those who work hourly can easily cast their ballot.  Also:  why can’t we have short lines, same day registration, and expanded early voting?  (And voter suppression is a discussion for another time.)

Many Americans aren’t able to vote, and I’d personally like to thank the Trumps for helping me make my point.

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Melania didn’t sign her absentee ballot envelope, Ivanka didn’t mail her ballot in time, Jared didn’t send a ballot in at all, and Donald completed his ballot but recorded his birthdate incorrectly.

So, again, let’s make it easier for everyone to vote because I believe everyone, even if I don’t agree with their candidate selections, should be able to cast their ballot.

And, holy crap, this is the first family of the country and they couldn’t manage to correctly vote? Group. Your. Poop.

Posted in Group Your Poop, Up to Speed

“It Didn’t Work”

This morning, the plan was to implode the old Detroit Silverdome.

The demolition company had one job…it didn’t go well.

Deadspin has the story as well as the video.

I feel badly for the reporter who had to awkwardly talk through the aftermath amid the people yelling in the background, “It didn’t work.”

Evidently the construction of the Superdome was better than expected.

Now the demolition company must go to plan B…right after they Group Their Poop.

Pure Michigan.

Posted in Group Your Poop, Just for Fun, Pop Goes the Culture, Up to Speed

Scheduling Snafu

Oopsie doopsie –

American Airlines says a computer error has allowed too many pilots to be on vacation during the holidays.

Way to go, American – now you don’t have enough pilots for the flights for the end of December.

Well, who wanted to fly home for the holidays anyway? Like, everyone?!

American Airlines pilot scheduling… GROUP YOUR POOP!

Posted in Group Your Poop, Up to Speed

Get It Together, Moms

I’ve been there many times, and I understand the frustration after a visit to…

Chuck E. Cheese.

Yes, it’s a menace to your mind.  I get it – the loud games, the screaming kids, the ridiculous creepy AF animated mouse.

But parents, you have to get it together.

 A Georgia TV station reports on moms getting in a brawl in the parking lot of Chuck E. Cheese after a visit to the children’s restaurant.

It’s noisy, the food’s not great, and there are probably a bazillion places you’d rather be.

Still, parents, let’s get it together.

And so, moms, GROUP YOUR POOP.

Posted in Group Your Poop, Up to Speed

I am the Grammar Hammer

I’m sorry that I have to be the bearer of bad news, but I have to point out a few spelling items from today:

1) THE PRESIDENT OF THE US DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL THE US CAPITOL BUILDING

2) PAUL MANAFORT’S LAWYERS DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CYPRESS TREES AND CYPRUS THE COUNTRY AS WITNESSED BY HIS BAIL DOCUMENTS THEY PREPARED:
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We all make mistakes, but I expect better from those in these roles.  If they can’t handle the spelling of these words, we are so screwed.

GROUP.  YOUR.  POOP.

 

Posted in An Opinion on Everything, Group Your Poop, Up to Speed

Group Your Pee??

Yesterday was the inspirational post about persisting when you sometimes can’t group your poop. Live to see another day and try again at that time!

Well today we are going in the opposite direction — maybe not all things need to be grouped (so to speak).

Meet little Freddie from England, only 3-years-old but perhaps efficient beyond his years.

Buzzfeed has the details if you are so inclined to read more.

Evidently little Freddie so enjoyed his tablet that he didn’t want to stop to use the restroom. Plan devised: pee in the drawer instead. It’s closer, quicker and maybe he wouldn’t even have to stop using the tablet!?!

Gotta give him props for making a plan and following through, but still ewwww.

Group Your Poop isn’t meant to be bathroom humor but rather a metaphor for life and the craziness which ensues during our normal days. And for that, I say a hearty “Huzzah” for Freddie. He fully embraced the Group Your Poop mantra. However, please, next time, take the tablet to the toilet if you must.

Posted in Group Your Poop, Up to Speed

Some Poop Can’t Be Grouped

Having a bad day?  Imagine being this Dad!

Sometimes the poop is hard to group, but you gotta just keep it moving.

Tomorrow will be a new day, and maybe it’ll be easier to get it together then.

Until then, persist.

Posted in Group Your Poop, Up to Speed

Women’s Empowerment?

That time you planned to go to a women’s empowerment seminar to grow your self confidence and hear women speak about their triumphs?

Then you see the speakers…

All may be nice guys, great speakers?  I don’t know otherwise.

Still….no.

#Patriarchy

Conference organizers, Group Your Poop.

Posted in An Opinion on Everything, Group Your Poop, Up to Speed

Stand for the Anthem, Sit on the Flag?

He may stand for the anthem, but I guess he thinks it’s ok to sit on the flag.

I’m beginning to think the people who are booing the players kneeling aren’t doing so out of patriotism/respect for the country’s symbols.

Deadspin has a photo (provided by one of their readers) from yesterday’s Jets game.

The article is short and describes the scene where the reader snapped the photos shown above.

C’mon Americans, Group Your Poop.

Posted in An Opinion on Everything, Group Your Poop, Up to Speed

Only in Florida

The concept of GTS (google that sh!t) has gone a bit too far.

This dude googled “how to rob a bank” then went out and robbed a bank. Because of course.

Wanna know what state this happened? Of course it’s Florida, because all silly stuff like this occurs in Florida.

Here the story.

And thanks to the dude for the laugh — we needed it.

But still, dude, you gotta Group Your Poop.

Posted in Group Your Poop, Up to Speed